Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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