love makes seman taste better
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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