even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
