I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
