I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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