So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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