And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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