No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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