As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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