I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
