3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
