i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
