dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
