For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Panties = found
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