u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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