i don't like sucking hair
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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