did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Randomize
