would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
