I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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