i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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