dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i think i just lost a toe
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
