i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
