you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize