glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
