i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
