$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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