so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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