Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I believe in your delicious
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize