Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
