She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
