Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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