Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
