I wanna bring you to show and tell
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
