DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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