my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize