i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
