New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
