Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize