The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
