I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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