Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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