I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
