I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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