What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
