We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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