It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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