____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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