i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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