Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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