1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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