I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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