AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
