your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
