So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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