Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
