new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
