I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
