do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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