just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
