last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Farmville is her only friend.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
