I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
